Release

It is with great pride and no small amount of emotion that I announce the release of our beloved hostage.

A recap of the Minima’s final moments in captivity:

2:45 pm – Tom texts me to say he just got back to Missoula. Will try to get the letter notarized and faxed this afternoon.

2:46 pm – I let him know that if he gets to it before 4 pm, I can get my car today. He says he’ll try.

3:56 pm – Tom pulls through. I call the court house, get put on hold for 12 minutes while the nice girl on the other line (who can’t spell “Montana”) runs around looking for a judge. She warns me that she probably won’t find one, since they’ve most likely all left for the day.

4:08 pm – She finds one. He signs my release form.

4:30 pm – I leave work and run down to the court house to pick up said form. I then walk back to my apartment. On the way, I pass a parking enforcement lady. Somehow, I refrain from asking her if her children are making the most of their college education, as I am likely funding it.

5:05 pm – Talia (my savior) takes me to the creepiest place I’ve ever seen in NW Portland. The sign on the gate says, “All visitors must check in at office.” From what I can tell, the trailer on stilts next to me is the office. We go in and the man behind the desk does not stop making fun of me for the next 5 minutes. Talia giggles at every picture and comic strip on the walls of the trailer office. The man tells me to sign my life away. And my first born. I’m not joking, he actually said that.

5:11 pm – FREEDOM! And yes, my bowling bag was still in the trunk.

I would like to thank you all for your kind words and support during this difficult time. If it weren’t for you, the Minima may not have made it. She may schedule a press conference at a later date, but right now she’s exhausted, as you can imagine, and enjoying quality time in her spot in the parking garage.

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3 Comments

Filed under I am not making this up.

3 responses to “Release

  1. Amanda

    How many people do you think were inside her?

    Too far? I hope not.

  2. mego

    Come on, Manda! That’s my car you’re talking about!!!

  3. Brian

    Its okay, Megs. You didn’t really want children anyway. Then you’d have to fund their college education, too.

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