This coming Saturday, my uncle John is getting married for the first time at the age of 47. I’ve spent the better part of the last few days trying to figure out what shoes to wear with my new fabulous dress and working out a way to slide a Princess Bride quote into the ceremony without completely embarrassing him in front of his new in-laws.

But I’ve also been exchanging emails with his soon-to-be wife, Tiffany, who I don’t know very well, but have spent some time with and always liked. She’s unconditionally sweet and pretty quiet, but she’s outdoorsy and fun and she and my uncle seem really happy together. She’s not particularly girly, so I’ve been curious to see what her wedding will be like. I sent her an email a couple weeks ago offering to help with anything I can this weekend. In her emails, she’s been a riot.

Last Friday I told her I’d be getting into town late Wednesday and I’d be happy to help with any prep stuff after that. She replied:
“Have you called into work sick yet? You can come and watch me parade around in my dress. I do this nightly — but, I don’t tell John about it. Exhausting being the princess.”

Then today, my cousin Kristin and I told her we’d help with the centerpieces at the reception. Kristin asked how Tiff was holding up:
“Things are going OK here – I’m just down to small stuff mostly. Hair extensions, collagen for my lips, fine-tuning my tattoos, … and shoes – I don’t have the stupid shoes yet!”

This is gonna be an awesome wedding.

The day after I posted this, I was chatting with Tiffany online:

T: I was thinking today that you’d be laughing at me
M: Why?
T: I was sitting around with Nair on my legs and whitener on my teeth
Oh, and Nair on my lips
M: I’m laughing already
T: So now I’m sitting around with Neosporin on my lips
a slight rash
(I mean above my lips, of course) (I’m not that strange)
M: You poor thing!
That sounds terrible
T: I admit I’m a little worried
Oh well. I need to go mow the lawn. I’ll see you tonight!



Filed under Sweet Home Montana

3 responses to “Mawwidge.

  1. Kristin

    I know! Who’s that light hearted and funny just four DAYS before her wedding? No one wanted to come within a mile of me for the whole month before.

    I see a “Sweet Home Aberdeen, Idaho” post in your future. Or maybe “Throwdown in the Poketown.” Or perhaps “Pocadilly Circus.” Good thing we have some time to think this over.

  2. You may appreciate that the first dance song at our wedding was “Storybook Story” (theme from the Princess Bride) by Mark Knopfler. Pretty OTT but that’s what these occasions are for.

  3. The Sox Fan

    #1. Yes I am on your blog.
    #2. Yes, I find it enjoyable.
    #3. Here are some quotes I think you could slide in.

    Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn’t you wait for me?
    Buttercup: Well… you were dead.
    Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
    Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
    Westley: There will never be a need.

    Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.


    Westley: There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

    The King: Strange wedding.
    The Queen: Yes. Very strange wedding. Come along.

    There were a lot of other quotes, but I couldn’t find justification for use in a wedding.

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