Vacation Home for Rent

Located in beautiful downtown Portland, Oregon. Two bedroom, two bath apartment in the heart of the Cultural District, in walking distance of a grocery store, convenience store, and many bars and coffee shops.

Apartment available anytime between November 11 – April 31. Come see how curly and frizzy your hair can get when exposed to rain constantly! Just two years ago a record was set here for the number of consecutive days of rain. Act now and you could be present for the next record-breaking streak! Carpets in apartment have just been cleaned (and may never dry out in this weather). Just today the wind picked up and inverted the current renter’s umbrella en route to work – just like in the movies! Building is surrounded by beautiful trees, but watch out! In the fall and winter their leaves may clog rain gutters. Spectacular city lights and heavy clouds block out moon and stars at night, creating pitch black evenings that begin at 5 PM – a thief’s dream! Apartment comes fully furnished, complete with dirty dishes and roommate. Stay as long as you’d like and catch up on your sleep; it’s much easier to stay in bed all day when it’s raining outside.

Act now and receive this special offer! No need to schedule your stay ahead of time – just come on over! Current renter is headed South and has left doors unlocked. Leave check for rental fee on the coffee table.

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4 Comments

Filed under Keeping Portland Weird

4 responses to “Vacation Home for Rent

  1. #1. Cultural District=hippies. I hate hippies.

    #2. You don’t say how much?

    ps. You live in Oregon. It rains. Suck it up.

  2. #1. No. Cultural District = homeless people and crazies. I wish there were more hippies.

    #2. For you? The low, low price of $200/week.

    Shut up. I don’t complain that often.

  3. Carol

    Come back to Montana! Perfect weather always. You’ll love it.

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