Once upon a time, there was a tall girl with curls who worked downtown. She went to lunch with a coworker-friend to their favorite place and got a burger, sweet potato fries and a milkshake to go. As they were walking back to the office, a man with a microphone stopped the tall girl with curls and her coworker-friend and asked them if they wanted to be on TV. The coworker-friend, being slightly older and much wiser, immediately said no thanks and started walking away, drinking her milkshake. The tall girl with curls, being a not-so-secret fan of attention, looked at the man with the microphone and asked “For what?” The coworker-friend hesitated, then stopped to listen.
“Do you know who LeGarrette Blount is?” the man with the microphone said, as a woman with a video camera on her shoulder appeared behind him.
The tall girl with curls, knowing full well who Mr. Blount was, pretended to punch the man with the microphone.
“Yes!” the man with the microphone said as his face lit up. “We need a woman’s opinion on him. What are your thoughts?”
The tall girl with curls was confused. Her thoughts? He was old news. Those were her thoughts.
The man with the microphone recognized her confusion and said, “It was just announced an hour ago that he will be playing for Oregon this weekend. Originally he was suspended for the full year, but they changed their mind and have reinstated him.” Then the woman with the video camera put her eye behind the viewfinder and pointed the lens at the tall girl with curls.
It was at that minute that the tall girl with curls put her finger horizontally in between her lips and moved it up and down repeatedly for a few minutes, making a funny noise.
After the tall girl with curls and the coworker-friend had talked to the man with the microphone for a few minutes, they turned and started back for their office. On the way back, they discussed LeGarrette Blount in detail. They both had fairly strong opinions, mostly agreeing with each other. The tall girl with curls said that her problem wasn’t with the suspension or the length of it, but the fact that the University of Oregon changed their mind. It wasn’t fair, she said, to give him a harsh penalty when everyone’s emotions were high and the public was calling for punishment… and then reduce it when everyone had forgotten about the incident and moved on with their football-watching lives. The tall girl with curls believed that if the penalty warranted was two months’ suspension, then that’s what should have been imposed from the beginning. If you ground your kid for a week and then let them go out the next day, she said, all they (and their little brothers and sisters) learn is that whatever you say is not necessarily for sure.
The coworker-friend agreed. She was also pretty sure the University of Oregon probably had a change of heart after they lost to Stanford last weekend. Also, everyone seemed to think that if Blount was suspended for his entire senior season, that would be the end of his career. The coworker-friend, however, thought that lots of NFL teams wouldn’t have any qualms about drafting him, regardless of the punch heard ’round the world.
Then the tall girl with the curls and her coworker-friend looked at each other and said, “Why couldn’t the man with the microphone and the woman with the video camera have followed us and filmed THAT intelligent conversation?!?!”