Category Archives: I am not making this up.

Dapper Dan

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Dapper Dan, probably admiring our amazing gardening abilities.

The day we moved into our house, we walked up the steps to unlock the door before we started hauling boxes in, and a cat came up and rubbed against my leg. He didn’t even wait for me to stop walking, just started swirling around my ankles as I kept moving.

Cats and I have always had a mutual understanding. They can sense I don’t like them and they mostly steer clear of me. (There are a few cats in my life that I like.  I’m not a heartless monster.) I have never had a cat approach me like this one did, without any sense of stranger danger or indication that he was getting my “not a cat person” vibes.

He continued to hang out in the front yard as we unloaded the truck, stealing snuggles whenever possible. I noticed he had some black fur under his neck that reminded me of a bow tie, so I started calling him Dapper Dan (from one of Galen’s favorite movies).

Much to my bewilderment, Dan has sort of become our friend. We have no idea who he belongs to; he doesn’t wear a collar, but he seems to be fed and taken care of. He hangs out with us most of the time, but will occasionally disappear for a few days at a time. We don’t let him inside, even though he tries really hard to scoot in ahead of us every time we open the door. We don’t feed him, either, but we talk to him when he’s around and pet him as often as we can.

We had a fruit and vegetable box delivered last month and I left the empty box out the next week to be picked up. The company didn’t end up picking it up overnight, but this is what Galen found on our porch when he left for work in the morning:

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We may not feed him or let him inside, but we did make him a bed.

He’ll often be waiting for us when we get home:

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And whenever we come near him (which is hard to avoid, considering he puts himself right in the middle of the walkway), he flips over and begs to be petted:

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We’ve almost stepped on him multiple times because his favorite thing to do is run one step ahead of you and stop so you’ll run into him and hopefully pet him.

After we’ve gone inside, he’ll sometimes stay outside the door and meow at us while we watch TV:

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This is the only cat I’ve ever considered bringing into my house. If my family members weren’t allergic, I probably would have already brought him in to watch TV on the couch with me. We sort of have the perfect situation now, though; we get to enjoy his quirks and snuggle with him on the porch occasionally, but we don’t have to feed him, clean out his litter box, or pay for all the expensive things that come with owning a pet. The only problem is that he sort of claws you while he purrs when you’re petting him, and his nails are long enough to put holes in clothes. Would he officially be our cat if I cut his nails?

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Filed under I am not making this up., Seattle Reign

My Mom, the Sportsfan

My mom has never really liked watching TV, but she’s really started getting into basketball (both college and NBA) in the past few years.  I love it.  Especially during times like the playoffs when she gets really fired up and puts her 13-year-old girl’s texting abilities to use.

Here’s our text history over the past couple weeks:

May 6

Mom: Lakers SUCK!

May 9

Mom: Is M Gasol related to P Gasol?

Me: Yes! Brothers!

Mom: M has his head in gear this game…unlike P yesterday

Me: M is also younger, better looking, and potentially more talented.  Plus he doesn’t play for LA.

Mom: Yup.  All good points.  But he is kinda tubby… I should talk!

Today, May 15

Mom: R u watching BB?

Me: Oh, thanks for reminding me!

Mom: Do you think Bosch is gay?

Me: No, although I never thought about it.  Why do you ask?

Mom: Weak chin.

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Filed under I am not making this up., Sportsfan, Sweet Home Montana

Flash Mob – Holiday Version

Yesterday I participated in a flash mob at Pioneer Place mall downtown.  I’d say maybe 100-150 people were part of the group who was milling around in the atrium and upper floors of the mall when we all spontaneously froze for 5 minutes, then started singing Christmas carols.  There was an “official video” taken of the event, but it’s not posted online yet.  Until I can share that with you, I thought I’d post a couple of my favorite flash mob videos. Ours wasn’t nearly this good or well-coordinated, of course:

The Airport Greeters:

I love a capella singing.  I think my favorite part of this video is the “Return of the Mack” guy with the sunglasses (assuming he’s truly caught off-guard and not a plant). He’s so perfect for the song!

The Train Station:

It’s so cool how people go from being “stunned passersby” into performers in a moment.

One of the songs we sang for our performance was “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” which is one of my favorite Christmas songs. Of all the versions, though, this may be the best:

Official video coming soon!

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Filed under I am not making this up., Keeping Portland Weird, MeTube

Mario Bike

Not too long ago, I found an awesome deal on a gently used bike on Craigslist.  I got myself some nerdy baskets on the back, a helmet, a good lock and some lights and decided to give bike commuting a try.  (I’m currently taking a brake from bike commuting, due to the presence of ice on the roads.  However, I was a faithful rider for a solid month or two and plan to do it again in the spring!)

I have a good rain jacket, as all Portlanders must, and felt fully equipped when it first started raining during my commute.  I park my bike outside at school, though, and quickly realized I had underestimated the discomfort a wet bicycle seat can cause… as well as the sheer amount of water a bicycle seat can hold.

This is what my jeans looked like after my first post-rain ride home:

However!  I wasn’t bothered by the wet bicycle seat because that was also the day I decided to take a new route up North Williams Avenue.  I was in fact pleasantly surprised to see that Williams not only has clearly-marked bike lanes, the bike lanes are complete with banana peels, coins, mushrooms, power boosts, stars and even a few turtle shells.  Apparently some awesome rogue Portlander decided to paint icons from Mario Kart on the bike lanes, making my ride home that day (and every day after) totally awesome.

I later found out it was recently covered on the local news:

Please note how everyone in this video successfully avoids the banana peel.

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Filed under I am not making this up., Keeping Portland Weird, MeTube, Too Cool for School

Ooooh Girl

My friend Brian shared this with me today, which made me think of a couple stories I’d like to share.  With you.  Right now.

In the fall of 2007, my brother was an intern for a US Senator from Montana in Washington, D.C.  He was living in a house with two roommates, one of whom was a family friend we’d known for years.  The family friend, who we’ll call Alison, is stunningly beautiful and sweet.  She also has incredible dark brown, curly hair that everyone in their right mind notices and admires. (This information will be important later).

The following are some of my favorite stories from Peter’s time in DC, as I remember them.  I have also included some random photos from Washington to set the mood.

One time Pete saw two elderly women get into a yelling fight across the street from each other, which escalated to the point that one of them reached into her plastic shopping bag and yelled, “Oh yeah?  You know what?  I got something for ya.  I got something for ya right here!” as she pulled out… a table lamp.  As Peter realized it wasn’t a gun and his heart slowed a bit, the woman started waving the lamp over her head and walking toward her opponent.  I believe this is when my brother turned down a side street.

Another time, Pete was walking into the Metro station to go to work one morning and a man on the street asked him for money.  Pete replied honestly that he didn’t have any, but then, feeling bad, mumbled something along the lines of, “But I’ll probably have some change later, when I come back.”  He had no idea that the very same man would be waiting in the very same place that evening, almost 12 hours later, when Pete walked out of the Metro station to go home after a long day of work.  The guy looked at him and said, “Where’s my change, man?”

Pete’s house didn’t have a washer and dryer, so he had to go to a laundromat to wash his clothes.  Once, he watched a man come into the laundromat from the street, open a dryer full of someone else’s clothes and pee into the open dryer.  Then he zipped up, closed the door, and left.  This story haunts me to this day, as I don’t have a washer and dryer in my current apartment and have to use a laundromat.

One of my favorite stories, though, involved Pete and Alison walking on a main street near their house when a woman drove by, rolled down her car window, and yelled out the window to Alison, “OOOH girl you got good hair!”

In November of that year, my dad and I went to visit Peter in DC.  The three of us were walking along the same street where Alison’s hair was so aggressively complimented, when a woman came up next to us at a crosswalk and said, “I like your little jacket, Miss Lady.”  I was wearing my rain jacket at the time (see photo) and I was in the middle of a conversation, so I ignored the woman, assuming she couldn’t possibly be talking to me.

As the light turned green and we started to walk away from her, she yelled after my brother, “Tell her… Tell her I like her little jacket!”  Pete turned around and said “Thank you!” and then hit me on the arm, explaining that I should respond to people on the street who compliment me.

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Filed under I am not making this up., Travel

Dr. Tom’s Pils

Remember my dad?  The doctor named Tom who loves pilsner beers?  The proudest moment of my life occurred today when he sent me this photo of the list of beers on tap at our friend’s brewery:

My uncle John even came up with a slogan:

“Dr. Tom’s. Good for what ales you.”

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Filed under I am not making this up., Sweet Home Montana

Immaturity gets me through the days

In my Anatomy & Physiology class the other day, the professor asked what the difference between “true” and “false” ribs was.  The correct answer is that true ribs connect directly to the sternum (breast bone) and false ribs don’t.  (They still connect, just not directly.)  When he asked, the girl sitting next to me answered, loud enough for everyone to hear, “True ribs connect to the scrotum.”

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Filed under I am not making this up., Too Cool for School